To Preface:

Graduation day induces a satisfaction similar to finally surmising the friendship notch with that beautiful girl you’ve been trying to court after all these years.  You think to yourself, “Wow, I must really have something going for me.  I must have a certain set of qualities that sets me apart from all these d-bag slime balls; I worked hard to reach this baller echelon.  Then the reality sets in.  As she tumbles down this ivory tower, you start thinking to yourself, “she bears a striking resemblance to Gandolf in the morning and my friends all feel they’ve been replaced.”  You now realize the idea of hooking up or dating this young little baby is way better than the reality. 

Hence, the job hunt begins.  This grandiose leap you just took will land you one step closer to a gut and an ill-fated social life. 

Ah, moving from this 4 or 5 years of partying and debauchery to the dark and dismal place I laughingly refer to as my parent’s basement is, needless to say, humbling.  As your job hunt begins, the self-satisfaction and triumph which ensued after graduation is fleeting.  

Why so cynical? 

I recently graduated with a degree in English and have high hopes that some remedial, mundane, low-paying entry level position will open up just so I can scrape together enough money for a case of beer.  Much to my dismay, the market will not allow for this without hundreds of e-mails and enough time on craigslist to make my eyes bleed.  It’s like I’m in the middle of the Arctic Circle hunting for polar bears with a cap gun.

Well this brings me to my purpose for cataloging my job hunt experiences.  I know there are a few of you out there who can relate to my situation, and I hope to offer some advice to those in a similar position.  The following posts will catalogue my job search process; interviews, my methods, and the best advice I can muster to the many individuals in my position who are currently seeking employment.

@2 years ago