Unemployment Profiteering

Oh my God.  There are actually desperate job-seeking Denverites who subscribe to this brute force “marketing position” without any sort of compensation, benefits, or hourly wage.  Unbelievable.  How can people be so stupid??

Well…I was one of the many ignorant unemployed a-holes who wasted my time with this; here is why.

I stumbled across this intriguing ad on Denverjobs.com regarding an entry-level sports marketing position.  It claims they are seeking “ATHLETIC MINDS!!” with potential to make 25,000-35,000k in annual salary.  They affirm that their “high success rate” is one of the myriad reasons they are flourishing.  Supposedly, their customers include, but are not limited to, fourtune 500 companies e.g. The Colorado Avalance, Nuggets, high caliber golf courses, etc.  Sounds pretty appealing right?

I think the first reluctant inclination my college degree brain fired off was that shortly after submitting my resume online, I received a phone call only an hour later from the recruiter. 

1.) Hmm, in this market, anytime anyone returns your phone call (with of course varying exceptions) it’s normally a bad sign. 

Their eagerness to rope me in for an interview only furthered that weariness, but with an optimistic a.k.a. desperate desire for work I submitted and scheduled a time to meet with the “HR director.”  Evading any fleck of doubt my mind conjured up I was excited to see what exactly this was all about. 

I thought it necessary to learn a bit from the company in order to prepare myself for this upcoming interview, I logged onto their website www.ent-marketing.com and began my research.  It seemed like a legitimate website, but inquiring about their clientele, no specifics were offered.

2.) They were solely interested in selling the “appealing nature of the industry,” completely devoid of any real information about the company.

Once again, I pushed any hesitancy out of my mind and proceeded to the interview.  Upon my arrival and observing the building, I felt a certain level of relief that their office wasn’t in one of the project-esque-paint-peeling-shitty-old-apartments across the street and took the elevator to the 3^rd floor. 

3.) Their headquarters consisted of a receptionist, three offices and two worn leather chairs.  Hmm, I thought at that moment I was lied to. 

After checking in with the disgruntled and homely receptionist I took a seat praying to the Lord I would not walk out of there with an airborne and contagious form of Hepatitis C.  I sat, and waited, and waited some more until finally some action.  A portly set gentleman with a stack of papers sauntered in wearing jean shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt.  My competition?  Soon thereafter, he handed her the stack of papers and walked out.  Certainly he was not someone who visited this tiny office for an interview.  I was relieved until the receptionist looked at me, picked up the phone, put her hand over her mouth and said in a stern nervous whisper, “Steven, a process server just handed me some papers.”  I tried my best to mask the churning belly laugh I was sure to release. 

4.) The recruiter who I was scheduled to meet with was getting sued.

After 30 minutes of witnessing the employees nervously discussing the aforementioned matter, I was called in by the friendly Steven.  We shook hands, I sat down, crossed my legs, put my hands on my head, and slouched to a comfortable position.

-“Andrew, you seem rather comfortable.  Most graduates come in here with a shaky voice and sweaty hands.  I like your confidence!

-“You know Steven, I am comfortable, thank you.”

He asked me a few questions about myself but I think the highlight was his slanted query, “Now Andrew, answer this honestly.  Would you rather sit in a tiny cubicle doing boring office work, OR, would you want to be out in the field; meeting with customers, working your own schedule, and experiencing life?”

-I wanted to climb over his desk and slap the stupid smirk off his face, instead I responded with, “You phrased that questions all wrong.”

-“Oh really?  What do you mean?  What should I have said?”

-“You should’ve said, ‘would you rather sit in an office hating life, or have fun?’”

-“HAHAHA, Andrew that’s very funny.  I like your sarcasm.  I can tell you’d fit in here perfectly.

It wasn’t that funny.  After a series of other angled questions I couldn’t bear it anymore.  I interjected again.  Without paying any mind to my notions, he mowed through reasons why I shouldn’t take a salary based position anywhere else due to five year glass ceilings and the likelihood for layoffs.  I asked him how many people he interviewed per week…he didn’t answer me straight…until I relentlessly questioned him.  Finally I got an answer, “Between 50-70” he muttered.

5.) Obviously

Next he avoided any salary related question I asked.  After once again relentlessly questioning him, I mentioned the advertisement on denverjobs.com regarding the salary and avoidingly stated in his formulated response, “This job would be great for you because I can tell you’re a hard worker, your pay will be conditional upon your individual merit.  You work your butt off, which I’m hoping you will,” (here I interjected and he pretended not to hear me) “which is why it’s such a great place to start out!!!!”

6.)  He was trying to sell me on this job…later on after I left he called six times, even calling my house.

I stood up, graciously thanked him for his time, and walked out before he could finish talking.  Let my errors be a lesson for all you job seekers.  After sifting through the sales pitches I came to the conclusion this firm advertised in coupons.  For places like Chilies, Applebees or any other dogmeat serving industry, they steamroll “clients” into paying for advertisements in coupons.  Yuck.

Scamming individuals such as this guy, make money from ignorant and desperate job seekers.  I call this idea creeping into the standard, unemployment profiteering.  Keep a close eye out and remember, if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.

@2 years ago